Hard Decisions
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: *ONE SHOT* Stuart has had enough of Ewan and doesn't know if it can go on anymore.


**AUTHORS NOTE: Inspiration hit me so you now have a crummy one shot to read with Stuart and Ewan (never ever going to let my Ewan die, you know). Besides, I'm hoping we get the Taggart archive blossoming with fics soon because when I first started on the website (a long long time ago now) there was only one and now there is like thirty + which is pretty immense and they're all amazing pieces of work! It's amazing :)**

*******

The candle had half burnt and Stuart knew that the meal he had made to celebrate their halfiversary – he knew that was soppy but he still found it hard to believe that he and Ewan had made it this far because the odds were all against them! – had been completely ruined. He didn't want to cause a fuss because he knew that there would be a very serious reason for why Ewan was late. There always was and Stuart never doubted, he just smiled and forgave. It was easier that way.

He found it hard to talk to Ewan about his emotions or anything because he knew that Ewan wasn't one for emotions. He needed to act tough so that for his work and the one time Stuart had seen him cry was because he'd learnt that his cousin had committed suicide. That had been tough on their relationship because Stuart had been one of the detectives that had worked on the case that had got the cousin locked away in the first place. They made it through because they realised that it wasn't Stuart's fault that the guy had murdered the woman and it definitely wasn't Ewan's places to hate everyone who had locked him away but he was definitely a little edgy whenever they went out with the team.

Watching as the wax dripped down onto the table, Stuart decided to stop waiting and leant over to blow out the candle but couldn't be bothered to scrape the food away or clean the dishes just yet so he took hold of his wine glass and moved over to the living room. He'd watch a bit of television, bite back the tears and just wait patiently. What more could he do?

Another two hours past before Ewan arrived and he walked into the living room, his tracks stopping as he saw Stuart clothed but asleep on the couch. An empty wine glass rested on the table and he turned to look into the kitchen and bit back a groan as he remembered what today had meant to the two of them, mainly to Stuart. He'd been happy proving to Robbie that the pair of them had managed to stick together even though they were on enemy lines in the eye of the public.

Ewan knew he should wake up Stuart and apologise but he couldn't do it. He looked so peaceful and so happy. Ewan knew the minute he shook him awake, the peaceful look would disappear and Stuart would be angry. He knew he had every right to be angry but he didn't like seeing Stuart angry especially when he was the reason behind it. Stuart was normally quiet and shy and that was the way Ewan liked him the most.

Instead of waking him, he decided to move into the kitchen and start cleaning up before checking his watch. He was still hungry and he knew a great twenty four hour take away so he opted for that instead knowing that he'd never be able to make this up to Stuart but he would try every single way. He stepped into the living room, heading for the front door but froze when he saw an empty couch but saw that the bathroom light was on. Ewan knew he should have waited to talk to Stuart but he was afraid and a coward so he slipped out the apartment before Stuart could even leave the bathroom.

Stuart came back out and heard the front door click. Sighing, he moved into the kitchen and saw that he'd cleaned up. Normally he would have felt happy thinking that Ewan had wanted to help but instead, he bit back tears knowing that he'd just left him instead of coming back to talk to him. He knew that Ewan hated it when he was angry but how did he thinking running out would make him any less angry? It was a stupid theory but he knew that Ewan didn't ever think his actions through, he just acted.

He finished tidying up and put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher before moving through to the living room again and deciding whether or not he should think about going home or staying here. Going home was a lot more tempting but he didn't want to give Ewan the satisfaction of doing that so he sat down on the couch and grabbed hold of a DVD and put it on. He was starting to drink a bottle of wine because he knew that being drunk was better than seeing Ewan sober.

Eventually the door opened but Stuart had only had a glass and a half of the wine so he looked over at Ewan that held two take away bags but he'd realised he had no idea what Stuart preferred because whenever they went to a Chinese, he ate whatever took his fancy at that moment. Ewan had just decided to buy most of the menu. "Oh you're awake again." He mumbled smiling before heading into the kitchen expecting Stuart to follow him and was even more shocked when Stuart didn't follow him. He was expecting at least one little argument and he wasn't sure if he liked the cold shoulder.

Walking into the kitchen with the silver serving tray his mother had bought him as a joke present years ago, he sat down his next to his fiancée and looked over at him. "Stuart, please talk to me."

There was a few moments of silence where Ewan feared that Stuart was going to his normal shy self but then he finally looked over at him, "Are we losing it, Ewan?"

"Losing what?" He asked afraid of what this meant for them.

"We've not been going out that long and you asked me to marry you so suddenly. Are you having second thoughts because you always seem to be looking over your shoulder and never being with me." He looked at him and he knew that there was even more he had to say. "It's not as if I ever flaunt the fact that I'm a detective because I knew that would bother you. Burke even knows not to send me out to investigate fellow landlords in fear of you."

Ewan nodded because he knew this was true. Stuart had done everything to make his life easier whereas Ewan hadn't done anything to make his job any easier. In fact it was almost as if every landlord of the nightclubs had decided to make things worse. Standing up, Stuart headed over to the window and looked out as he shook his head.

"I'm not sure where this is going any more, Ewan. I know I love you but you seem to want to make things really difficult."

"How about we just eat something and see how we feel afterwards?" Stuart looked over at him and could see straight away that he was shunning the situation again. He just sighed before shaking his head.

"Don't do this to me now, Ewan. Just answer the question because I just want to know." He whispered afraid that he was going to start bawling like a child if he didn't hear what he wanted to hear.

"Stuart, I don't know what you want from me."

"I want you to say that it's either good between us or that it's over because I don't want you to stay with me just because you feel like you have to!" He shouted at him and knew that the tears had well and truly gone now but had been replaced with raw anger.

"Stuart, I do love you and I love every minute we spend together."

"Which is considerably rare seeing as you always seem to have something else on." He whispered with venom in his voice and Ewan bit his cheek so that he wouldn't bite back at him.

"I don't think I can put up with this anymore, Stuart."

"With what?"

"Your mood swings. One minute your happy with me and the next you look as if you want to kill me!"

"That's because I'm second best in your mind and I hate feeling like that!"

"Well if that's what you think then maybe we should say goodbye."

"I'm thinking the exact same thing, dear." Stuart said knowing that the vicious way he said that was to prevent him from bursting into fat ugly tears.

"I have some food to eat so if you don't mind..." Ewan's voice had a trace of heart and Stuart felt his heart crashing but couldn't resist now so he just nodded.

"Well don't let me stop you." He whispered grabbing his coat and starting towards the door. He froze for a slight moment and then decided just to leave. It was better off that way.

*******

Three days had passed since their split and Stuart had ignored every phone call and text that Ewan had sent him because he'd decided himself that the split was something serious. He sighed as his phone started going off again and Robbie looked over at him in annoyance. "I swear to God..." He mumbled under his breath so Stuart couldn't hear him before turning back to his paperwork.

Five minutes later and the phone started to buzz but before even Stuart could reach it, Robbie had it in his hands and flipped it open. "Hello." He pause for a few moments and then smiled. "Hey, Stuart can't make it to the phone right now but he has told me to tell you that he is ready to talk to you face to face." There were a few more moments of when Stuart was trying to grope for his mobile but Robbie was taller and stronger so he could keep Stuart away. "I'll tell him to be there." A few more moments before Robbie laughed. "No, don't worry about him chickening out because I'll be there to escort him myself." He turned to grin at Stuart who was muttering death threats under his breath. "It's always good to talk to you, Ewan. Catch you later." Then he ended the call before pressing the off button and putting it into his pocket and smiling at Stuart. "What would you do without me?"

"I don't want to see Ewan again, Robbie."

"Don't talk bollocks!" Robbie chastised as he sat back down in his desk not caring that Stuart's hands had clenched into fists at his side. Not a day went past when Stuart didn't feel like smacking Robbie at least once.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Stuart. You've done nothing but mope the last three days. You don't come to the club either and I bet all you do instead is sit in your apartment, staring at your engagement ring and wishing you hadn't just walked out on him." Jackie piped up and Stuart felt insulted that his best friend could talk so coldly about him. Did she really think he was pathetic? He knew he wasn't really upset about what she'd said because he knew it was the truth. Thankfully she hadn't mentioned anything about crying but he'd definitely done plenty of that over the last three days but he decided that none of them needed to know that.

"Our lives are too different to have a good time, Jackie."

"No." She said in a firm tone of voice and Stuart turned to look at her, aware that tears were starting to prickle in his eyes as he thought of what she was about to say to him. "You proved the odds managing to have a happy life with Ewan. Detectives all over Scotland have been trying to arrest him for years and you've got with him and if he was a bastard beforehand, you definitely can't see that now. Stuart, you and Ewan were made for each other and you're the only one who seems to struggle seeing that!"

"I don't like talking about this kind of things."

"That's exactly your problem, Stuart!" Robbie suddenly shouted at him and Stuart looked over at him, thinking that deep down he must desperate if he was going to consider listening to Robbie for relationship advice. "You ignore any emotions that are spelled out in front of you because you fear you are the only one feeling them when we all know damned well that Ewan loves you more than he has ever loved anyone."

"How can you know that?"

"How can you not know that? A member of his family commited suicide in prison because we put him there and yet did he fall out with you? No. He continued loving you every single minute of his life because he knows that you were the one for him. He knew that no matter what happened, he'd be happy with you and even through all the shit, you were there."

Okay, no Stuart was in trouble because he was starting to think that Robbie made sense. So they'd had a few missed dates because Ewan had worked but had Stuart thought of how many times he'd rang Ewan and said that he couldn't make it because he was working late? No and the answer truthfully was that Stuart thought he was a little bit better because he'd actually rang to say that he couldn't make it whereas he never got that with Ewan. With Ewan you just sat and waited until you worked out on your own that he wasn't going to show up.

"I don't know what to do. It might be too late to take things back."

Robbie and Jackie just laughed as they shook their heads, "Trust me. For how many times he's rang you, he's missing you." Robbie said squeezing Stuart's shoulder before sitting back down at his desk. "Now if you don't mind, I always struggle to do paperwork without distractions."

"Can I have my phone back?"

Looking up at him, his pen inbetween his teeth, he shook his head. "No." He simply said before returning to his work. Stuart looked at Jackie who laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

*******

"I can't believe it takes so long for a guy to ready." Jackie grumbled as she rested her head on Robbie's lap as they rested on Stuart's couch. They were waiting for him to pick something to wear to go talk to Ewan and it was taking a lot longer than either of them had expected.

"I don't know because I can promise you now that it never takes me this long."

"That's because you prefer the scruffy, I just got laid look."

"That's really what you think about my style?" He asked her not sure if he was to be insulted or complimented about it but he didn't have time to ask anymore because Stuart appeared.

"Don't let me stop you two flirting." He teased before twirling. Robbie admitted that he looked good in a cream roll neck jumped and a pair of black jeans. Casually dressed up for a small light meal in a cheap restaurant which wouldn't mind the odd raised voice.

"Oh shut up." Jackie laughed, a warm blush filling her cheeks as she looked over at him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" There was a ring at the doorbell and she looked over before going to answer it. She stared at Ewan before turning back to look at Robbie. "How about me and you go get some coffee or something?"

"Coffee?" Robbie commented looking at his watch and laughing. "I don't think so. Let's hit a nightclub!" He called out holding her elbow and steering her past Ewan, "He owns a mighty fine one. Let's try there."

Normally, Ewan would allow himself a slight chuckle at Robbie's words but right now he was terrified and couldn't laugh. He just wanted to move towards Stuart, take his lips with his several times before saying that he was sorry and that he was stupid for ever letting him walk out but he didn't know if that's what Stuart wanted him to do. He knew they'd arranged to meet a cafe but Stuart wouldn't be truthful in a place of people so Ewan decided that this rendezvous would be better off held at Stuart's flat because he knew that Stuart wouldn't come to Ewan's flat.

"You look great." Ewan finally forced out knowing that lunging straight into the emotions and things wouldn't help either of them relax. Small talk had been created for a reason and Ewan was more than prepared to use the tactic.

"Thank you." Stuart mumbled looking over at Ewan in one of his expensive, designer suit and was already tempted to forgive him because he loved it when he wore suits. Many nights of slowly stripping him down, his hands running down his bare, toned chest before hooking his thumbs into a waistline that just rested on his hips. A blush formed on his face as he looked away from him. "You don't look too bad yourself." He mumbled before sighing. "Can I get you a drink?"

He had told himself no alcohol but Ewan realised that he might need the dutch courage so he asked if could have a glass of red wine knowing that Stuart didn't drink beer and the only time it was in was for whenever Robbie ended up getting thrown out of his flat. Stuart simply nodded and headed to the kitchen filling two glasses before coming back in and handing one to Ewan. Ewan immediately noticed that the man was still wearing the engagement ring but didn't mention anything, he just sat down and took a sip of the wine while thinking of what to say.

Stuart would normally have sat next to Ewan and he found it weird deciding to sit in the armchair across from him instead. He found himself studying the guy in front of him and noticed from the stiff position and the expression in his eyes that Ewan was scared. He wasn't uncomfortable about being in his presence, he was scared.

Deciding to be brave for the first time in his life, Stuart put his glass down on the table and moved over to Ewan before kneeling down in front of him. His hands resting on Ewan's knees as he looked up at him. "The argument was stupid and should never have happened."

"I know that." Ewan whispered back as a response and Stuart just smiled before taking hold of Ewan's drink, planning on putting it down on the table but instead he took a big sip gulp before putting it down on the table. "Stuart, don't get drunk. If you need alcohol to say what you have to say then it means..."

"It means that I'm scared of your response and I don't want to be sober when you turn me down." Stuart finished off for him and Ewan was left speechless. Did Stuart doubt how important to Ewan he actually was? He couldn't help but take Stuart's face in his hands before leaning down and catching hold of his lips with his. Stuart gasped with surprise, his lips parting and this was the only permission Ewan needed before his tongue swept in for a battle. Stuart tasted of mint toothpaste, the strong merlot and even more importantly, himself.

The kiss seemed to go on forever and when it ended, Stuart was sure he was going to fall to the floor because he was tired and dizzy. He stared at Ewan, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe but that didn't stop him from deciding that he needed Ewan to put his feelings in words. "What does that mean, Ewan?"

"It means I love you and I always will. We might not be able to spend every single minute together and I might be knuckle headed enough to forget to ring you and say "sorry babe but I'm not coming home for dinner" and I know we'll fight but I also know I'd rather fight with you than ever be with another man."

Stuart looked at him speechless and was about to reply when the door burst open and a happy looking Robbie and Jackie ran into the living room before engulfing the couple in hugs. He would have killed them for eavesdropping if it wasn't for the fact that he was too happy himself.

He pushed Robbie off of him and turned to look at Ewan, "I love you too."

"Yeah, Robbie told me that's why we planned my constant phoning tirade and him finally answering the phone."

"You spoke to Robbie?"

"He came to beat me for hurting his friend and he saw what kind of state I was in and still kicked my arse for being so stupid for letting you go so he planned on how I could get you back because he said you was stubborn." Jackie and Stuart both turned to look at Robbie, their jaws both dropping as they realised that Robbie had done something so kind and caring.

He rubbed his neck distractedly and just chuckled, "You make it look as if I never do anything nice!"

"You don't!" Jackie commented before giving him a hug, her arms wrapping around him tight and it wasn't long until Stuart was giving him a hug too but he had a different reason for his.

"How about you and Jackie actually leave this time?" He whispered in his ear and Robbie, being the kind of guy that he was, immediately understood what Stuart was getting at so he moved away and winked at Stuart before beckoning for Jackie to either take them to hers or his because they were going to have celebratory drinks for their friends. She looked as if she wanted to argue but when Robbie raised his eyebrows, she understood and nodded before wishing the others goodbye.

When they finally left, Stuart wrapped his arms around Ewan's neck and kissed him lightly. "No more arguing?"

"Oh come now, we can't say that! Where will the fun be in that?" He teased kissing his partner again before looking at him. "If we argue we can never walk out on it, we must always talk to each other and make sure it's resolved before we say goodbye or goodnight."

"Agreed." Stuart responded holding out his hand and Ewan just smiled as he shook his head,

"I have a better way we could agree." His tone was seducing and Stuart smiled at him.

"I think I like that idea." He whispered back pressing a kiss to his lips before taking his hand and leading him through to the bedroom, the door closing behind them.

*******

**AUTHORS NOTE: I told you it was a rambling one shot but I just wanted to use Ewan again because he's my baby and I'll never bore of him. I think I might e-mail a suggestion to ITV. Oh my mere daydreams. Right enough rambling. Please read, enjoy and review!!**


End file.
